Worried Sick!

I know that parents worry about their children. You don't fully understand the worry until you become a parent yourself. Well, who would have thought that Tyler would have us worried sick already? Sigh...I wish this was a happy blog, but unfortunately I'm already getting quite upset just writing it.

Yesterday afternoon I had another ultrasound appointment. At the previous ultrasound at 18 weeks, we were told everything looked as good as it could. They asked us to come back 4 weeks later because they could not get all the pictures of Tyler's anatomy that they needed. He was simply too small to see everything. We were told they still needed pictures of the lower spine and feet. We went into this appointment with no worries. After all, they just needed to see a couple structures.

We arrived on time but ended up waiting an hour to be called. Greg had a marketing dinner later that evening to attend. He had to leave the ultrasound early. However, he did get to see the majority of the screen. Everything seemed to be going well, the ultrasound tech did her thing and then Dr. Robichaux came in after. He also began to scan. He concentrated on the baby's brain, measuring, re-measuring and measuring again. He even said out loud to the resident and tech, "Do these look symmetrical to you?". Oh, goodness, here we go! This can't be good! The doctor walked out the room, told me to meet him in his office after the resident doctor was done practicing her scanning skills. At this time, Greg had to leave. I had a small feeling something could be wrong, but the Doctor was VERY calm and didn't say anything. So, I let Greg leave for his dinner.

After I finished up with the resident, I was lead to Dr. Robichaux's office. The first thing the Doctor said was, "I didn't know your husband had to leave." This made me scared. I thought, "Great, so your definitely going to tell me something bad". Why would he say that if he were going to tell me that everything was great? I sit down as he goes through all the pictures they took. He tells me how the last ultrasound at 18 weeks looked great. Then he goes on to show me the pictures of the brain he was focused on during the ultrasound. To make this long story a bit shorter, he basically told me that Tyler's left ventricle in his brain was slightly larger than it should be. He called it borderline ventriculomegaly. He went on to show me the pictures and the measurements. He also explained what the normal should look like.

Here I am sitting in this Doctor's office. He asked me if I had any questions. Of course I have questions! But, I sure wasn't going to ask them! If I opened my mouth, tears were gonna come streaming down my face. Then, this poor little doctor and resident would have a emotional lunatic on their hands. I just kept telling myself, "Don't get upset, don't get upset." Now, I know very little about fetal medicine. But, I do know that the ventricles in the brain hold cerebral spinal fluid. Those being large can't be good. He went on to explain that "a vas majority of these may fix themselves". He asked if I knew anything about it. I said no, but that I was going to thoroughly research it when I got home. He gave me is card and told me that he would do another ultrasound in 4 weeks to check for any progress.

I left, pulled out my phone and called Greg. I didn't make it to the elevator without the tears flowing freely. Greg freaked out too. He wanted me to explain everything the Doctor said. Unfortunately, I didn't know what it meant. I didn't ask questions, so I have no idea what it means, why it is happening or what the outcome/treatment maybe. I was terrified and didn't want to break down in front of the Doctor. To make things worse, this is not my typical OB. Dr. Robichaux is a specialist with fetal medicine. He does all the ultrasounds. So, I don't even know him very well.

My sister came over last night to make me feel better while Greg was at his marketing dinner. For the most part, I'm ok...until I start thinking about it. I did some research that showed that only 1% of babies have this problem (lucky me!) and that many of these cases turn out to be normal, happy, healthy babies. So, I'm trying to be optimistic that it won't get worse. It is going to be a VERY long 4 weeks until the next ultrasound. Next baby, I'm not getting an ultrasound! Ignorance is bliss:) I will warn everyone at this time that I am currently extremely emotional over this topic. Please don't try to talk to me about it unless you are ready to be consoling a emotional, crying, pregnant girl. I just can't talk or even think about it without the tears coming.

On a happier note, I have some pictures from the ultrasound. We got a picture of Tyler's tally-wacker. There is no denying he is a boy! We also got a picture of his foot and profile. He is the most handsome boy I know already! Come back in a little while and pictures will be up!

I do want to say that everything else on the ultrasound checked out great. This is a big relief as much of the research I have done states that babies with this problem have a better prognosis when it is an isolated finding, and the rest of the anatomy is normal.